Johnny and I just celebrated 10 years together and 5 years of marriage. :)
Ten years seems like a long time...but it doesn't feel like a long time. I mean...we've experienced so much together and we've shared so many moments over the years...but it just seems like the time has gone by so fast.
I love our relationship though. It just comes so easily. I know you generally have to work to make a relationship work...but I feel like we've put in that work and now it just feels effortless.
Had Johnny and I stayed together the first time we dated, we actually would have celebrated 17 years together this year. But...so much happened in our lives in those seven years we were apart. I think we both grew and became the people who could make such a successful life together now. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason...and I think that's especially true of all the things that had to happen for us to end up working at the same place at the same time, meet and fall in love, fall apart and then come back together...to end up happily ever after.
We've both had very volatile relationships in the past. Speaking for myself, I know that I have had a history of being VERY stubborn, saying everything I think (often complaints or criticism), and honestly just focused on a lot of the wrong things. But...I was with guys who were the very same way. Like with XH...both of us were very stubborn, fought constantly, and always focused on what the other person was or wasn't doing...and the way we wanted things to be. It was never a partnership where we worked together. There was a lot of, "well if you're not going to do X then I'm not going to do Z." There was too much resentment and no appreciation from either of us.
Even in the 6-year relationship I had right before Johnny and I got back together...it was a very different kind of relationship. The first four months of the relationship we were truly dating...but after that it was far more of a long-term "friends with benefits" arrangement than an *actually* relationship. We enjoyed each other's company and I stayed at his house when my kids were with their dad...but I had my own place and we weren't planning any sort of exclusive future together. So it became a situation where...if one of us got pissed off, I just went home. We'd either get over it...or not. It was pretty inconsequential. Don't get me wrong...we loved each other and care about each other very much...but it was in a much different way. I just understood him more than most people and I let him be who he is without trying to change him...and he appreciated that. But we were still two very strong-willed and mouthy personalities who clashed often.
But things are totally different with Johnny. I'm definitely not as stubborn, I've learned that silence really is golden, and we focus on appreciating each other instead of criticizing each other. Johnny and I are just *nice* to each other. We say nice things and even use cutesy pet names. We say please and thank you. We say "I love you" every time one of us leaves...whether it's just leaving the room or leaving the house. We also do nice things for each other...even when it's just little things like making a favorite snack or doing a chore around the house so the other doesn't have to. That's not to say everything is perfect 100% of the time. We're human and sometimes we get annoyed or cranky or just have a bad day...but those moments are few and far between. Johnny and I are also a lot alike in a lot of ways...from our thoughts on religion and politics to the things we like to see and do.
But even the things that are different about us...we still complement each other in a way that works so well. For example, Johnny is good cop and I'm bad cop. I have no problem telling the kids no...while he's usually the "nicer" one who is more lenient. We're like that in so many ways.
Ultimately we're in it together, forever. I really enjoy our life together. :)
